Daniel Jones tackling himself is without doubt one of the most stunning performs of the season

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The play was a marvel. Each single Eagle bar Nickell Robey-Coleman bit on the pretend handoff, attempting to bulldoze their technique to Wayne Gallman, who didn’t have the ball. Daniel Jones, who did have the ball, traipsed jauntily previous all 265 dread lbs of Brandon Graham, who ignored him, noticed his tight finish throw a block on Robey-Coleman, after which wandered into open discipline.

The Philadelphia Eagles had invited Jones to go on a stroll. He obliged.

Jones just isn’t the type of quarterback it’s best to invite to go on a stroll. He’s the New York Giants’ premiere speeding weapon, and though this says some horrible issues in regards to the Giants, it’s exhausting to steer an NFL group in speeding yards with out with the ability to run the soccer at the very least a bit of bit. Jones is comfy speeding, he’s quick for a quarterback, and the Eagles gave him a 15-yard hole to blow by means of:

My favourite factor about that screenshot, by the way, is watching the entire state of affairs daybreak on Eagles linebacker Nathan Gerry. Gerry is on the far facet of the entanglement and due to this fact incapable of doing something aside from telegraphing ‘oh nooooooo’ by way of physique language alone. Oh noooooooo.

Anyway, give a cellular quarterback an enormous hole and nothing behind it save a blocked-off nook and also you’d anticipate to concede a landing. That’s not what occurred.

Fairly than trotting into the tip zone, Jones suffered from some sort of horrible malfunction on the 25-yard line and was downed by contact on the 10. What the hell occurred right here?

Some hypotheses:

“I attempted to run too quick.”

“I simply … I don’t know … I attempted to run sooner than I used to be operating and I obtained caught up,” Jones told Ralph Vacchiano after the sport. Jones is the first supply right here, and we should always take his account severely. However why would he attempt to run sooner? He was within the clear, no person was catching him, and it’s not like he was going sluggish. Whereas I don’t wish to indicate that Jones wasn’t telling the entire fact, we should always discover different potentialities.

Plausibility: 8/10

Adopted Peppy’s directions too intently

Certain, it’s uncommon to be enjoying Star Fox 64 throughout a recreation, however QBs have earpieces of their helmets, and the Star Fox group has the technical wherewithal to patch the veteran pilot by means of to of us who want recommendation. And, as we all know, Peppy solely has one recommendation to present:

Generally you simply must do a barrel roll. Poor timing, maybe, however who is aware of what risks might need been lurking within the air. Belief Peppy.

Plausibility: 2/10

Tackled by destiny itself

Teleology generally is a scary idea. Did all the pieces in Daniel Jones’s life lead as much as this second? Sure, as a matter of reality. All the pieces he ever did culminated in falling over for no cause whereas thousands and thousands of individuals gawked. For one transient on the spot, Jones tackling himself was Daniel Jones apotheosized. If we’re being teleological, we are able to work again from there: for Jones to meet his future with Jalen Mills on the 10-yard line he should stumble on the 25-yard one. And so the palms of destiny thrust forth by means of earth and grass, grabbed his toes and ship him pitching ahead in a tangle of limbs. It couldn’t have been in any other case.

I’m giving this one a low grade as a result of teleology is silly.

Plausibility: 2/10

Jones frightened of his newfound freedom

Jones is a surprisingly good rusher, however so far as I do know he’s by no means earlier than been afforded this a lot area in an NFL recreation (his longest profession rush previous to this one was 49 yards towards Washington, however whereas he fooled the digital camera in that play the Giants did a much less efficient job drawing away the protection, who swarmed him the entire manner). Might which have had an influence his skill to manage his physique?

Within the opening traces of E book VII of Republic, Plato produces one in every of his most celebrated passages (Jowett trans.):

—Behold! human beings dwelling in an underground den, which has a mouth open in direction of the sunshine and reaching all alongside the den; right here they’ve been from their childhood, and have their necks and legs chained in order that they can not transfer, and may solely see earlier than them, being prevented by chains from turning spherical their heads. Above and behind them a fireplace is blazing at a distance, and between the hearth and the prisoners is a raised manner; and you will notice, in the event you look, a low wall constructed alongside the way in which, just like the display screen which marionette gamers have in entrance of them, over which they present the puppets.

That is the Allegory of the Cave, through which Plato means that humanity is shackled, seeing solely sensory impressions fairly than the reality behind these impressions. Philosophy, he suggests, frees us from these bonds, permitting us to step out of the cave and into the sunshine of fact. One thing very comparable, I would counsel, occurs with speeding the soccer and good blocking.

However what occurs to those that shift too shortly between the barely-punctuated darkness of the pocket into the complete, dazzling brightness of the tip zone? As Plato suggests, “When he approaches the sunshine his eyes shall be dazzled, and he won’t be able to see something in any respect of what are actually known as realities,” which is clearly code for “be careful dude would possibly fall on his ass 10 yards out.”

Thanks, Plato.


Picture by Time Life Photos/Mansell/The LIFE Image Assortment by way of Getty Photographs

(He says we’re welcome)

Plausibility: 7/10

A leg mutiny

Does Daniel Jones care for his legs? In fact he does. Daniel Jones is knowledgeable athlete and takes care of each inch of his physique. How dare you counsel in any other case.

However do his legs agree? That’s a extra fascinating query. Because the quarterback for an NFL group, Jones can not assist however spend time on workout routines that aren’t wholly targeted on his legs. What if his legs are jealous of all the eye his brains and arms obtain? What higher technique to make their displeasure recognized than by declaring a mid-run revolution, spoiling the glory of the entire out of sheer spite?

It’s short-sighted, sure, however legs aren’t recognized for his or her foresight, the fickle creatures. This may very well be Daniel Jones’s Spithead. Spitlegs? Uncertain, however we are able to work out the right leg mutiny naming conventions another time.

Plausibility: 7/10

If you happen to’re into quarterbacks who go on walks, Jon and Alex as soon as took a take a look at one which didn’t finish in humiliation (for the quarterback, at the very least).

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