I’ve typically questioned what varied video games would appear like as RPGs – Area Invaders, OutRun, Granny’s Backyard – however I’ve by no means as soon as questioned about Pong. Have you ever? I imply it is Pong, a recreation about slowly shifting a paddle up and down the display attempting to bat a ball in direction of your opponent and hoping they’re going to miss it. How would Pong work as an RPG?
And never simply any RPG. I imply a fantasy RPG. I imply fireballs and mana, abilities and levelling up, baddies like ogres and slimes, and evil wizards. How would that work? Nicely surprise no extra! Hypergalactic Psychic Desk Tennis 3000 has the reply. It additionally has a ridiculous title. However that is as a result of it is ridiculous.
It is unmistakably Pong while you play it. You are a bat (do not name me that!) in opposition to one other bat and there is a bouncy ball – you realize the deal. However right here, the bats aren’t simply extraordinary bats, they’re slimes and ogres and evil wizards. Ogre bats are huge and gradual, similar to actual ogres in, um, actual life; and slimes are purple blobs and wizards fling fireballs at you. That is proper: fireballs.
Hypergalactic Psychic Desk Tennis has magic talents and mana. Every time you win a match you get XP and degree up, and might get a brand new skill. Would you like one thing to take much less harm each time you hit the ball? In all probability, as a result of that is very annoying. In the event you take an excessive amount of harm you’ll break into items, leaving your opponent with an open purpose. Perhaps get a heal spell. Or how a few fireball? Fireballs are cool as a result of in case you hit the bouncy ball it is like hitting it together with your bat, altering the ball’s trajectory, and it makes a sort of grenade out of it.
Or do you need to improve your girth? And look, I am sorry to put in writing that however that is what it actually says within the recreation. Hypergalactic Psychic Desk Tennis 3000 has a sort of Duke Nukem sense of humour. It is puerile however delivered with such po-faced grizzled aggression it form of works. Like I mentioned: it is ridiculous.
Combine all of this collectively and throw in some wildcard parts, like portals to warp the ball across the degree and pinball bumpers to cannon the ball round, and you have got your self a weird Pong fantasy RPG which asks: How far are you able to get?
I like that somebody’s dusty previous museum relics like Pong and questioning what else they can be utilized for, and that they don’t seem to be simply strolling by and “mmm”ing like everybody else. I like the thought of previous concepts being performed with as a result of that is what video games are about, is not it? Enjoying. It makes me surprise what different hallowed video games from our previous could possibly be given the identical wacky therapy.